"Sweetheart, love didn't hurt you. Someone who didn’t know how to love hurt you. And sometimes, often in fact, that someone is also us."
There is profound truth in this statement. Love, in its purest form, is gentle, kind, and nurturing. It’s the force that connects us, heals us, and elevates our spirits. However, love often gets confused with the way it is expressed, or more accurately, misexpressed. When someone doesn’t know how to love, the pain that arises is not from love itself, but from a lack of understanding, from the actions or behaviors of those who fail to embody what love truly is.
**The Misunderstanding of Love**
We often mistake unhealthy dynamics, manipulation, or emotional unavailability for love. This misunderstanding leads to heartache. It’s essential to differentiate between love and the behaviors of people who are wounded, or unable to express love in a healthy way. This perspective can be liberating—it reminds us that love itself is not the enemy. Love does not cause the wounds; people who don’t understand love do.
**We Hurt Ourselves, Too**
What makes this even more challenging is that sometimes, we are the ones who hurt ourselves. When we cling to relationships where love is absent, or when we try to force love where there is none, we betray our own hearts. We stay in situations out of fear, need, or the desire for validation, hoping that love will somehow emerge from the ashes of disconnection. In doing so, we are complicit in our own suffering. This isn’t about self-blame—it’s about awareness. Once we see this pattern, we can break free and choose something healthier.
**Healing Comes with Awareness**
The first step to healing is realizing that love did not hurt you—your expectations, your choices, or someone else’s lack of understanding did. By recognizing this, you allow yourself to open up to real love, the kind that is respectful, kind, and nurturing. It's a journey of self-discovery and compassion, where you learn to give love to yourself first before expecting it from others.
Ultimately, the key to healing lies in understanding that true love is expansive and freeing. The pain you’ve experienced comes from a place of misunderstanding, both from others and from within yourself. As you release this pain, you make space for a deeper, more authentic experience of love.
**Conclusion: Reclaiming Love**
True love doesn't hurt—it heals. The pain we associate with love is often a reflection of the wounds we carry or the unhealthy dynamics we've been a part of. By acknowledging this truth, we can begin to heal and open ourselves to the kind of love that truly nurtures and uplifts us. When we stop blaming love and start looking at the ways we misunderstand it, we take the first step toward reclaiming love in its purest, most beautiful form.
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