When a chaotic relationship ends, it often leaves a lingering ache—like a ghost in your chest. You think you’re missing them, but what you’re really grieving is the version of you that got lost in the chaos.
In trying to make it work—perhaps through people-pleasing, emotional suppression, constant compromise, or abandoning your own needs—you let go of your wholeness. You pushed aside your inner voice to be "enough" for someone who couldn’t hold space for you.
So when it's over, you don’t just miss the person.
You miss your power.
You miss your peace.
You miss your boundaries.
You miss your clarity.
You miss the you who disappeared to survive love that wasn't safe.
You miss your power.
You miss your peace.
You miss your boundaries.
You miss your clarity.
You miss the you who disappeared to survive love that wasn't safe.
The Truth: You Miss You More
What hurts the most isn't their absence, it's the disconnection from yourself.
The loss of self-trust.
The exhaustion from self-abandonment.
The echo of a soul that twisted and turned to be loved, only to feel emptier in return.
The loss of self-trust.
The exhaustion from self-abandonment.
The echo of a soul that twisted and turned to be loved, only to feel emptier in return.
This pain is an invitation—not to go back—but to come home.
Back to you.
To your breath, your body, your truth.
Back to you.
To your breath, your body, your truth.
Yogic Solutions to Reclaim Yourself and Move Forward
Kundalini Yoga, in particular, offers deep tools for self-repair. This practice doesn’t just work with the physical body; it moves stuck emotional energy, strengthens the nervous system, and rebuilds your spiritual identity.
Here are powerful practices to restore the you that was lost:
1. Breathwork for Nervous System Repair
Practice: Long Deep Breathing + Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana)
These practices help regulate emotional chaos and balance masculine and feminine energies within.
These practices help regulate emotional chaos and balance masculine and feminine energies within.
How to do it:
- Sit in easy pose with a straight spine.
- Inhale slowly and fully through the nose.
- Exhale slowly, emptying the lungs completely.
- Continue for 3–11 minutes.
Then shift to Alternate Nostril Breathing for another 3–5 minutes.
Benefits:
- Rebuilds a calm baseline in your nervous system
- Balances left and right hemispheres (logic and intuition)
- Creates space between impulse and reaction
2. Kriya: Kriya to Open the Heart Center
The heart chakra is often wounded in toxic love. This kriya helps you process grief and self-abandonment by opening the energetic heart.
Suggested Kriya: "Kriya for the Open Heart" (you can find it in The Aquarian Teacher manual or request it from me)
Benefits:
- Releases stored pain from the chest
- Brings back emotional openness and courage
- Fosters forgiveness of self and others
3. Meditation: Meditation to Conquer Self-Animosity
This powerful Kundalini meditation clears the shame, self-blame, and judgment that accumulate when you feel "not enough."
How to do it:
- Sit with a straight spine.
- Place your left hand over your heart, right hand in Gyan Mudra on your right knee.
- Chant: “Ang Sang Wahe Guru” (The Infinite vibrates in every cell of my being)
- Continue for 11 minutes.
Benefits:
- Heals inner fragmentation
- Re-establishes self-love and sovereignty
- Calms the inner critic
4. Journaling Prompt
"What parts of myself did I quiet, dismiss, or hide in this relationship?”
"What does my authentic self want to say now that I'm free?"
"What does my authentic self want to say now that I'm free?"
Benefits:
- Retrieves your voice
- Makes the unconscious conscious
- Helps you rewrite your story on your terms
5. Sankalpa: Set a Soul-Level Intention
When we leave chaos, we must declare the energy we are now committed to. Use this affirmation:
🕊️ “I call all my energy back to me. I honor my heart. I live in alignment with truth, not trauma.”
Repeat this daily, especially after yoga or meditation.
Closing Words:
Grief isn't just for people. It’s for parts of self we lost in the name of love.
But every ending holds a mirror—revealing the sacred path back to your wholeness.
But every ending holds a mirror—revealing the sacred path back to your wholeness.
You’re not broken. You’re rediscovering.
You’re not alone. You’re coming home.
You’re not alone. You’re coming home.
And this is the love story worth fighting for: the one with yourself.
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