When we think of the five love languages—words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch—we understand them as the fundamental ways people express and receive love. But there's a sixth love language that often goes unnoticed, though it is equally powerful: inclusion.
Inclusion is the act of integrating someone into every aspect of your life—not just your physical presence but also your inner world. It means being considered in thoughts, prayers, plans, dreams, and celebrations, creating a deep sense of belonging and connection. Inclusion says, "You are part of me, my life, and the future I envision."
Let’s explore the power of inclusion and how it enhances our relationships.
What is Inclusion as a Love Language?
At its core, inclusion means making someone feel significant in both your everyday life and your long-term vision. While the five traditional love languages focus on tangible expressions of love, inclusion goes beyond and speaks to the invisible thread that binds people through mutual thoughtfulness and presence.
It’s the feeling of being thought about when you’re apart, the comfort in knowing you’re in someone’s prayers, the excitement of sharing dreams and planning together, and the joy of being part of someone’s celebrations. Inclusion says, "I don’t just love you in the moment—I hold space for you in my mind, heart, and future."
The Dimensions of Inclusion
1. Thoughts and Prayers
Being included in someone’s thoughts and prayers speaks to the spiritual and emotional care we offer one another. It's the silent way of saying, "You are important to me, even when we are not physically together." Including someone in your prayers is a profound way of holding them in light, extending positive energy, and affirming their presence in your life.
Being included in someone’s thoughts and prayers speaks to the spiritual and emotional care we offer one another. It's the silent way of saying, "You are important to me, even when we are not physically together." Including someone in your prayers is a profound way of holding them in light, extending positive energy, and affirming their presence in your life.
2. Plans and Dreams
Sharing plans and dreams with someone communicates, "You are part of my future vision." Whether it’s planning a vacation together, envisioning a life goal, or even navigating everyday decisions, inclusion in this way shows that you value the other person’s input and presence in what you are building. It’s about creating a shared reality where both of your hopes and aspirations merge.
Sharing plans and dreams with someone communicates, "You are part of my future vision." Whether it’s planning a vacation together, envisioning a life goal, or even navigating everyday decisions, inclusion in this way shows that you value the other person’s input and presence in what you are building. It’s about creating a shared reality where both of your hopes and aspirations merge.
3. Schedule and Celebrations
Including someone in your daily schedule or life’s most important moments strengthens the connection. By making time for them, you’re saying, "You matter enough to have a special place in my life." This doesn’t just apply to significant occasions like birthdays or holidays, but also in the small daily rhythms of life—calls, messages, and check-ins that say, "I’m thinking of you."
Including someone in your daily schedule or life’s most important moments strengthens the connection. By making time for them, you’re saying, "You matter enough to have a special place in my life." This doesn’t just apply to significant occasions like birthdays or holidays, but also in the small daily rhythms of life—calls, messages, and check-ins that say, "I’m thinking of you."
Why Inclusion Matters in Relationships
Inclusion goes beyond fleeting expressions of love; it touches on the essence of belonging. When someone feels included, they know they are seen, valued, and respected. This feeling fosters security, intimacy, and trust, deepening the relationship on emotional, spiritual, and practical levels.
In romantic relationships, being included in your partner’s thoughts, decisions, and future plans creates a strong foundation of trust and unity. In friendships, inclusion creates a sense of mutual support and companionship, letting the other person know they are not an afterthought, but a cherished part of your life.
Inclusion and the Five Love Languages
Inclusion can amplify the traditional five love languages. For example:
Inclusion can amplify the traditional five love languages. For example:
- Words of affirmation become more meaningful when they reflect shared dreams and plans.
- Acts of service feel more intentional when done with the understanding of the other person’s needs and desires.
- Quality time is elevated when both people feel included in each other’s schedules and lives.
How to Practice Inclusion in Your Relationships
If you want to cultivate inclusion in your relationships, here are a few ways to start:
- Hold Space in Your Thoughts
Take a moment throughout your day to think of the people you love. Whether it’s through sending a quick message or simply holding them in your mind, let them know they matter to you, even when you’re apart. - Incorporate Them in Your Prayers
Whether you pray, meditate, or practice mindfulness, include those you care about in your spiritual practices. This quiet act of love offers a sense of connection, even in times of physical distance. - Make Them Part of Your Plans
When making decisions, planning your future, or even navigating your daily life, consider how your loved ones fit into the picture. Ask for their input, share your dreams with them, and let them know that their presence in your life matters to your future vision. - Celebrate Together
Whether it’s birthdays, anniversaries, or personal achievements, celebrate with those you love. Beyond the big moments, even the small joys of everyday life are worth sharing. Make time to acknowledge and enjoy these moments with those you care about.
Conclusion: Inclusion as a Gateway to Deep Connection
Inclusion, as a sixth love language, goes beyond surface-level expressions of affection. It’s about fully integrating someone into the inner fabric of your life—your thoughts, prayers, plans, dreams, and celebrations. By doing so, you create a deeper sense of connection, love, and belonging.
Love is not just about grand gestures or physical proximity; it’s about the space we hold for each other in our minds, hearts, and futures. When you practice inclusion, you’re not only showing love in the moment—you’re offering a lasting bond that transcends time and distance.
So, the next time you want to express love, think about how you can include that person in every facet of your life. Through inclusion, you can create a deeper, more fulfilling connection that speaks to the soul
