You fall in love…
with their confidence, charm, and warmth.
They’re emotionally available and present.
Sweet, kind, funny, sexy, playful.
They feel like home.
with their confidence, charm, and warmth.
They’re emotionally available and present.
Sweet, kind, funny, sexy, playful.
They feel like home.
And so, it feels only natural to move in.
You settle into their world.
They settle into yours.
You settle into their world.
They settle into yours.
β³ Then Six Months Pass
And suddenly, you realize:
You’re not just dating the person you fell in love with.
You’re also dating their:
You’re not just dating the person you fell in love with.
You’re also dating their:
- Fear of abandonment
- Hyper-sensitivity
- Need for constant validation
- Insecurity
- Walls around intimacy
- Avoidance
- Unprocessed grief, rage, and shame
Wait… was this in the lease agreement?
(And yes, p.s. they are wondering the same thing about you.)
(And yes, p.s. they are wondering the same thing about you.)
πͺ The Unspoken Truth
You weren’t fooled.
You simply got close enough to activate their wounds.
Now, you’re meeting the protections they’ve spent years maintaining.
You simply got close enough to activate their wounds.
Now, you’re meeting the protections they’ve spent years maintaining.
Behind those defences is a sweet, innocent part of them that is hurting, quietly asking:
“Are you safe?
Will you be the one to finally help me write a different story?”
π₯ Secure Relating is a Choice
It’s choosing to walk through the fires of healing together.
It’s saying:
It’s saying:
“I see your wounds.
Your defences are tough, but I’m still here.
Because I believe you are worth it.”
π Love as a Healing Path
The deepest intimacy occurs when we use relationship to finally face ourselves.
Because we don’t need to be healed to experience love.
We need to be loved to experience healing.
Because we don’t need to be healed to experience love.
We need to be loved to experience healing.
In trauma-transforming relationships, we discover that love is not just romance.
It is:
It is:
- Seeing each other’s pain
- Holding space for healing
- Choosing to repair, again and again, even when triggers arise
π± This is How Secure Attachment Grows
True intimacy blooms when partners feel safe enough to drop their armour and let love in.
We don’t have to be perfectly healed to love.
We just need someone willing to stay and help us write a new story.
We just need someone willing to stay and help us write a new story.
Healing happens when you recognise that part of the sacred contract is to support each other in remembering:
You are, and always were, loved.
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